He Knows

So, just over 3 weeks ago we learned we were parents again. Only not in the traditional way. This involved a phone call, an email, the photo of a sad little girl, and us on our knees asking God for clarity and peace. I'll admit, it was different than what we had expected. She was older than what we had expected and it threw me off my game for a moment. I experienced odd emotions that I couldn't put my finger on.

Part of it was just the unknown. I don't deal well with unknowns. What has she been through the past 3 years? Will she bond? Will our Isabelle deal alright with having a twin who isn't a twin? Will I survive having two 3 year olds? Why does she look soooo sad? What do some of these statements on the medical report even mean? Did I really just miss the first 3+ years of my daughter's life? I think that last one was the real biggie.

Fortunately I am married to a ROCK of a husband. When I panic, he is calm and cool and collected and seeking God. His response? "Honey, this is a God thing. He just doesn't always do what we expect." Deep breath. I wanted guarantees, assurances. God wanted me to step out in faith, trusting not in medical reports and odd, fleeting emotions, but in Him. "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord....

Within hours, peace came like a tidal wave. God knew it was what I needed, and He gave it in abundance. Why is it so easy for me to forget He is incapable of anything less than perfect faithfulness? Afterall, He and I have danced this dance many times---me doubting, him supplying. Never once has he failed me. I don't know all the details. I don't how it will all play out. But I trust the one who does, and that's enough. "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord....